he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
