Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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