i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
