He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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