This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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