I want you more than these girls want KFC
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
