she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
