Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
