I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
