Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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