He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
