There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
