You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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