You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
so much tequila, so little girl.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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