Don't make out with my wife yet
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
