I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
