After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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