yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
