I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So much rum. So many feels.
this hospital has no fireball
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
