Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
