Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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