I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
