i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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