my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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