Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i will never coherently bang her
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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