Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
