Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
