no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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