Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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