I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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