I wish I could teleport
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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