A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
