You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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