do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
