So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
