woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
