2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
