How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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