I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
