I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
