brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
