I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
