i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
try to milk me bitch
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