It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
