Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Can I color on your dick again?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Floor bacon is actually really good
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
