Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize