Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
