Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
