You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
