Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize